Một chút self-help

Chào cả nhà, mọi người vẫn khoẻ chứ?

Với trạng thái “bình thường mới”, Sài Gòn đã phần nào thức giấc, đang trở mình để quay lại nhộn nhịp hơn xưa. Dù vậy, khó thể phủ nhận bốn tháng giãn cách đã ít nhiều ảnh hưởng đến tinh thần và tài chính của nhiều người.

Xin tặng cả nhà hai bài viết do Chồn Xinh viết trên nền tảng Medium. Nội dung chủ yếu xoay quanh chủ đề phát triển cá nhân, cách vực dậy tinh thần của chính mình trong những lúc khó khăn, và tầm quan trọng của niềm tin vào bản thân.

Nghe có vẻ self-help, thị trường quá phải không? Bạn nào không thích thể loại này thì có thể bỏ qua, nhưng nếu đã theo dõi Chồn Xinh từ lâu rồi thì cứ đọc đã, mình viết cũng khá chân thành đấy. Cũng là một cách để luyện tiếng Anh nói chung và kỹ năng viết, nghiên cứu, tổng hợp tài liệu nói riêng ấy mà. (Khi đọc nhiều sách thì mình mới phát hiện, ý của nhiều bài viết [hay] trên mạng đều lấy từ trong sách ra cả, ví dụ như những bài về thói quen thì thường lấy ý tham khảo từ quyển Atomic Habis của James Clear.)

Chúc mọi người những tháng cuối cùng của năm 2021 này được bình an và nhiều may mắn! Hai bài viết của mình bắt đầu bên dưới nhé.

Feeling lost and don’t know what to do? Try this.

There will be times when things do not get our way.

Direction
Photo by Jens Johnsson, Pexels

Recently a former student of mine confronted and asked me a question. “What action will you take when everything you do comes with disappointing results”?

FYI, he is a casual trader who recently entered the world of trading. He tried hard, having won some and lost a few trades. With that question, I could assume he got burned in his latest encounter with Mister Market.

Regardless of what you’re doing, you may have been in my student’s shoes: arriving home with failures and feelings of disappointment burdening your shoulder after putting so much effort into whatever you’re doing. If so, you may have asked the same question, wondering what is the best course of action to take when everything seems to be against you.

Here’s a summary of what I told him, along with some personal stories and experiences.

Stop, relax, have a cup of tea or coffee, go for a walk or a run, buy something you like, read a book, and talk to a friend about you bullsh*t — no, they can’t solve the problem for you but they can listen, and that’s more than enough.

And when the conversation was over, it dawned on me that everything I said could be condensed into one little word: invest.

  • When you stop and relax, freeing your mind from the problems that are troubling you, you invest in your mental health.
  • When you go for a walk or a run, you invest in your physical health.
  • When you buy something you like, you invest in yourself, be it appearance or entertainment.
  • When you listen to others’ stories and experiences or read a book, you invest in your knowledge.
  • When you talk to a friend, you invest in relationships. The act of talking about your problems also alleviates your tension in the mind and will obviously benefit mental health as well.

I think you’ve got the point. The best course of action to take when you’re confronted with nothing but losses and failures is simple. Just invest in yourself. Build a strong mind and a healthy body, get resources that make you feel good, learn new things and experiences from books or other people, and don’t forget to seek comfort and encouragement from friends and family — you are not alone. With all of these, it is hard not to succeed in your next endeavor.

So the next time things do not get your way, instead of getting upset and disappointed, make any form of investment in yourself. You’ve got time, trust me.

Happy people don’t look into the mirror and say “I am happy”

But yes, they do. For a start.

Look into the mirror
Photo by Bruce Mars, Pexels

While discussing self-help, my friend uniquely told me most books on emotional management are unreliable and practically useless. In her opinion, happy people don’t need to tell themselves they are happy.

Well, she may have a point. But when digging more into the topic, I found some good stuff.

James Clear in his book Atomic Habits states that the shift from goal-based to identity-based mindset is the first step leading to a world of remarkable changes. Instead of believing you are unhappy, do the reverse. Tell yourself you are a person who is worthy of love and happiness, and they will naturally come to find you. In one way, or another.

The mind governs the actions. A firm belief that you are a happy person will dictate that you do what happy people do. Such include thinking positively, smiling more often, being willing to learn, and helping others. Those are enough to prepare yourself for changes that will do you a world of good.

An easy example mentioned by James is his friend who lost a lot of weight by simply asking herself “what would a healthy person do?”. This lady perfectly adopted the mindset of a healthy person and acted accordingly. The book did not state clearly how, but we can trust that she ate healthily in moderation and worked out frequently, which all started with a shift in mindset.

What would you want to change about your life now? A look in the mirror coupled with a bold attempt to say “I am a [the identity you want to become] may be a good start.

Update: Mình vừa tạo một trang Facebook, các bạn hãy “like” để nhận cập nhật về bài đăng mới hoặc đọc những chia sẻ đời thường của Chồn Xinh nhé. Tạm thời chưa có gì đâu, nhưng cứ like đặt gạch vậy nhé. Cảm ơn các bạn!

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